Relationship Boundaries You Need — Tarot Pick a Card

Hello, my soul friends! Today I have a psychic tarot reading on relationship boundaries you need. These are walls to protect yourself from social friction both from your loved ones and those you wish you could avoid.

All you have to do is follow your intuition and pick the pile that sticks out to you the most.

After you select your cards, scroll down to your pile or choose below.

For this reading, I’ve chosen the Dark Mirror Oracle deck (this is an affiliate link that supports me if you make a purchase). Remember that you have free will. That means you can manifest the positive and avoid the negative of any reading.

Now it’s time to build your relationship boundaries.

Pile 1: Fox

Overview

The primary issue in your relationships is a false image of the other person. This is likely a problem for you and those you have relationships with.

Obsession

Everyone has special interests. But the first card in your spread, Obsession, indicates you weigh your relationships with too much importance in your life.

There’s only one circumstance when this is okay and that’s when someone is dependent on you for survival, such as a young child or disabled family member, and they’d die without that special attention. But anyone else can’t be the focus of your life because you should be the focus of your life.

I feel like you make harmful sacrifices to please the other person because you’re obsessed with making the relationship work.

On the flip side, you may unfortunately attract these same types of people, and for some in this pile, who are way more obsessive than you are. Whether they love or hate you, their desire to make you codependent on them erases your autonomy.

Perchance to Dream

I think the origin of both side’s obsession is idealism. The second card in your spread, Perchance to Dream, suggests you and the people in your life have an ideal of what the relationship or the other person should be like.

It’s okay to have this. This helps put people in perspective of the best possible qualities. However, few if anyone could ever match the ideal version someone has.

The problem I see in your spread and where you need to start drawing relationship boundaries is that the ideal chokes the reality.

For some, this idealism represents itself as ignoring the flaws in the other person and pretending everything is good when it’s not. For others, this idealism manifests as someone failing to meet the ideal and the other person punishing them for it.

Either way, this fixation and obsession with ideals is harmful because they can never exist in reality. The obsession feeds itself into madness.

Anger and Chains

Ultimately, this will result in the final card, Anger and Chains. Someone in the relationship will dominate over the other and subject the person to abuse, emotional or physical.

How do you escape this? It’s easier than you think. Practicing gratitude and checking in with the judgment of others will protect you.

Consider keeping a journal or checking in a few times a year with yourself to write what you’re grateful for in your relationships, big or small. Part of living with a normal person instead of a fake ideal person is to accept people for who they are.

But this needs to be paired with oversight judgment. Most people are good, but not everyone, and the bad people always try to sneak into our lives. Those who seek an ideal person are the most at risk as these bad people will exaggerate the trait you most want so you’ll ignore their other toxic traits.

One of the ways to protect yourself from this is to compare their behavior to the average healthy relationship (never the ideal).

If something makes you uncomfortable or seems unusual, check in with someone you trust or even ask a third party, like a therapist or internet support group.

You don’t deserve a mirage. You deserve what’s true and good. Not a fake perfect.

I loved reading for you! If it resonated, let me know. You can also leave a tip on ko-fi or book a private reading on my Etsy.

Pile 2: Mushrooms

Overview

There’s a lot of shortsighted thinking when it comes to life and relationships. Because of that, you’re prone to being a victim of impulsivity.

Today for Tomorrow

Humans used to struggle to survive. Because of this, we’re programmed to try and secure a quick win. Problem? We’re not always in a situation where the quick win is healthier over the long-term investment.

The first card in your spread, Today for Tomorrow, suggests you’re sacrificing the future for the immediate present. You might have really good reasons for this because of your current life circumstances, but it’s going to cause you problems down the road if it hasn’t already.

One example I think of is people who will spend their twenties and thirties hooking up instead of trying to establish a healthy committed relationship. When they want to settle down, they may have found themselves unable to emotionally connect, infertile from age, or in a financially bad spot because they spent their money on partying.

There are certainly some people who would be happy living this lifestyle until they died, but many actually want a committed relationship. However, when they spend most of their life rejecting it, it’s not a surprise it becomes harder to manifest later on.

You need to look at your relationship goals, romantic or platonic, and ask yourself if you’re doing something else right now as a distraction. Is it going to give you long-term happiness?

Naked Before the Stars

You may feel as if fate isn’t always on your side. The card, Naked Before the Stars, suggests you’re unprepared for the life plan the universe has for you.

There’s some part of you that feels what this plan might be and that you want at least some of it. However, you’re rejecting it because of your short-sighted thinking.

Simply changing course and charging full-steam ahead when it comes to your long-term relationship goals is likely to be a failure, however. This will discourage you and likely lead you back to short-term thinking.

So the relationship boundary you need right now isn’t just eliminating short-term behavior – it’s not jumping impulsively into a huge project either without preparing ahead of time.

For example, someone who’s never been in a committed relationship is unlikely to meet their true love and successfully manifest a healthy marriage in less than a year. They’d be better served taking all milestones at a deliberate, but moderate pace with a keen eye.

Addicted

Be aware that you’re likely to be impulsive for years even after you work to undo that shortsighted thinking. The final card in your spread, Addicted, indicates you’ll act in ways that will stab you in the back.

I want you to understand that part of your nature is to do things impulsively in some areas of life. Nobody would expect an Aries not to be assertive and brash. It would also be wrong to ask you to change everything about yourself too.

Instead, I want you to write down the relationship behaviors you have that are impulsive and then brainstorm ways you can transform them into healthier alternatives.

Someone who loves to hook up may enjoy the novelty of first dates. In a committed relationship, they’d probably want to go on dates to new locations and be surprised by their partner about the destination. This would be the sort of thing they’d need to learn to communicate with their partner about.

So don’t try to erase your more impulsive side when it comes to relationships even if you’re aiming for something with a longer investment. Instead, honor that part of yourself and find a way to include it in your vision for the future.

I loved reading for you! If it resonated, let me know. You can also leave a tip on ko-fi or book a private reading on my Etsy.

Pile 3: Books

Overview

A problem of superficial fixation is present in your life. This can cause relationships to be shallow and toxic due to the narcissism that follows.

The Temple of My Body

When it comes to relationships, physical attraction is important. Because of this, we all tend to work on our image and be very interested in the image of the people around us.

However, your first card, The Temple of My Body, indicates a strong self-interest. I don’t necessarily see this card as a negative and I don’t want you to think that either. However, you’re very protective of your body and that can get in the way of intimacy.

You’re drawing a boundary and not letting people get close to you. This results in your relationships being more shallow than they need to be.

You may have reasons for being so protective, but if you vet your relationships properly, you can have a more intimate connection than you do now.

Revenge

When someone trespasses your body’s sanctuary, even by accident, you tend to embrace the energy of the Revenge card. Unfortunately, I think you also don’t have that intimacy with others, resulting in you trespassing on their body’s sanctuary too.

An example of this at work without any trauma involved would be a couple living together for the first time. One partner may be afraid to poop in the house while the other is there and this can result in a lot of anxiety because this person may be afraid the other person thinks less of them for a normal bodily function. They may also get offended when the other does poop in the house because it’s not fair.

However, later into the relationship, this same person may walk into the bathroom while their partner is brushing their teeth and take an explosive dump even though they could’ve waited a few minutes. The toilet wars will then begin. Not very attractive, is it? Both cases are the person not having a healthy relationship with intimacy.

Barring emergencies where embarrassing intimacy is necessary, you need to figure out what kind of intimacy would be appropriate in your relationships and work towards making that possible.

But first, you need to accept that your intimacy barrier is going to be smaller for your relationships than it would be for a stranger.

Parasite

One boundary you need to set for yourself in all of this is limiting the number of people you invite into intimacy. The third card, Parasite, suggests you either have someone parasitic in your life right now or you may in the future.

Intimacy isn’t just about inviting people in – it’s about having a mutual relationship with them. One of the reasons you may be so protective of your body is that you experienced someone in the past who took more from you than you were willing to give.

It may be helpful to do a journal exercise where you create categories of intimacy and what people or types of relationships you’ll allow to have certain levels of access. This is called interpersonal distance.

It varies by culture and by individual. Most American adults don’t hold hands with their friends in public, only romantic partners – but in other countries, that’s normal. Similarly, you might be willing to hug a close friend, but not a coworker you barely know.

If someone is getting too close to you and you don’t want it or they don’t return the favor, this is parasitic behavior. You need to have a conversation where you point this out to them or you cut them out if they don’t respect you.

I loved reading for you! If it resonated, let me know. You can also leave a tip on ko-fi or book a private reading on my Etsy.